Oneshots
by Meemaw Moonpie
Summary: A series of purely random one-shots that explore the daily lives and daily dramas of the Total Drama cast from the painful to the hilarious to the overly random. Requests open
1. Chris MacLean: Heartbreaker

**Disclaimer**: I do not claim ownership of the show or any of its characters. I am only the sole owner of the poor Chloe Summers and a lot of the crazy characters in the story below, excluding a certain couple.

**A/N:** So I'm not sure what exactly inspired me to do this. I guess it came to me after reading about the show Celebrity Manhunt over on the TD wiki. This was a lot of fun to write and I must warn everyone that this is a pure exercise in silliness (and writing)! Thanks Quartzy for the suggestion!

* * *

"We now turn in to tonight's special edition of _Scandal! _Only here on Celebrity Manhunt, with your host Chloe Summers!"

A beautiful young girl of twenty three steps onto the platform of the stage. She's dressed to the nines in a gorgeous green dress, perfectly accenting the colour of her orange red hair. She flashes the camera a charmingly playful smile. The effect is quite spellbinding as millions of viewers elsewhere on the globe can't help but feel taken in by her charms. She giggles while the camera slowly zooms in on her face.

"Good evening everyone. Welcome to another episode of Scandal! Tonight, we've got a special segment planned solely for your viewing pleasure. Our focus for tonight? Oh, it's really no one other than the notorious and much sought after bachelor in Hollywood. Young, handsome and a huge success it's not hard to see what makes him this year's top hottest topic. Love him or hate him you all know him as the one and only Chris McLean!"

There's a mixture of hisses and cries as people watch the segment from the very comfort of their homes. Well…more like ninety-nine percent of cheers and only one percent of boos, the latter amount made up entirely of former Total Drama contestants.

"As you all know Chris McLean's claim to fame started at quite an early age. Remember that _adorable_ little baby from Nummy Num-Nums baby food?"

On cue a picture of perhaps the most adorably handsome baby boy comes on screen. His cheeks are apple red and there's a sharp gleam to his perfect smile. Never mind the fact that said baby is wearing a diaper that looks full, or that said baby is too young to have a perfect set of teeth, or the fact that said baby has a hint of stubble as well. These little details are nothing more than minor hindrances which are overlooked. Why? Because it's Chris McLean.

"Nummy Num-Nums was Chris' stepping stone to the tinsel and glamour of Hollywood fame! From baby food to clothing lines to modelling to day time soap acting all the way up until he hit his biggest jackpot…All that have worked with Chris in the past have all said the same thing when asked what it was about Chris that made him so sought after."

"It's his it factor, of course!" Jacques Beret, co-star of Flipminton mentions as a segment of his interview is shown on screen. "Though I'm straight, there was just something about Chris that-"

"Drove me wild!" a young debutante gushes as her cheeks flush red from pleasure. "He had such great form on ice!" she squeals. There's a faraway look to her blue eyes as she stares up at the ceiling quite dreamily. "And you know, just between the two of us, ice skating isn't the only kind of fancy footwork he could do! In fact Chris-"

"Is very gifted," director Mica Baum of _The 'D' word_day time serial reports. "He was a pleasure to work with and he had such great ideas for our soap that we took him on as our lead writer! Best decision I've ever made in my life, and I'm sure the fans agree." The man adds the latter part with a wink.

Chloe can't help but giggle, possibly attempting to be cute. "They sure do!" Suddenly there's a sudden grave look to her face the moment her bubbly laughter subsides. "But folks being a celebrity is not as easy as pie like it sounds. With fame comes desirability, and Chris, being who he is, is no doubt one of the most sought after guys on the face of this Earth. Not surprisingly he has left a string of heartaches in his wake."

"Oh, yeah I remember Chris!" a blonde beauty sighs forlornly at the camera. "I had such a crush on him when we first met on the kid' TV show _Cherry Lane_." She can't help but sigh forlornly with a sad look to her eyes. "So you can imagine my sheer joy and surprise when I learned that Chrissy and I would later on both land roles on The 'D' word. That soap meant everything to me…it was my first time taking on quite the serious role and it was also where I first found love…" she casts a dejected look at a photo frame she has of two teens locked arm in arm. At least if you could call a copy-paste, mini version of Chris McLean a teen. "It was the happiest three months of my life…life has pretty much sucked after that. Why did it end? Because of his huge maniacal ego! Seriously! That man is so full of himself that I wouldn't be surprised if he's a descendant of Narcissus! Good luck to the sorry sucker who takes him, though I think Chef's already gotten that part taken care of."

"Dated Chris McLean? Hah! Honey, we did more than date!" a cougar scoffs while she takes a long drag from her cigarette. There's an angry and outraged look to her face while her grating voice drones on. "These kids?" she says, pointing to a couple of frames and photos she has on the wall as she takes another long puff. Upon closer examination one would find it hard to call the people in those photos children considering that they all look…well…clearly much older than Chris in years. "His kids. Seriously Chris, _where's my money!_"

"Hi, I'm Cindy Cooper and I am totally Chris McLean's biggest fan…or at least I was until he decided to get a restraining order against me! Can you believe that guy! THE NERVE! I mean_helloooooooooo_ it's called a fan club for a reason! Us fans have a right to know every single detail about him from the time he gets up in the morning to his last thoughts before he goes to bed! How am I wrong for fishing around in his trashcans? Well, whatever, he can count me out because no longer am I the proud owner of the Chris' Campers! No…from now on I run the Chris McLean Sucks website! Yeah, that's right Chris! Those death threats? _**Me me me me me**_–"

The camera then cuts to perhaps the most disturbing victims of this show yet. The two of them make the phrase "_sleeping with the fishes_" quite questionable in respect to everyone's favourite sadist. Chloe, though, seems unphased in the least but maybe it's because she's an airhead. Just _maybe_. You would have to be if it meant conducting an interview with two sharks.

"Chris is sooooo handsome but he is just toooooo selfish!" one shark cries out in despair. Her twin, worried for her sister, can only part her shoulder, hoping it will give her some comfort. "I mean like take me and Tina here! He just took us for like- for like- for like………………GRANTED!"

Tina only shakes her head sadly while her sister continues to bawl on and on and on.

"Serena isn't exaggerating. Not even a bit! I mean, have you been truly watching the show? Have you seen the way he uses us? I find it so outrageous that he doesn't appreciate us for our efforts in the very least! He is forced to give us breaks due to union rules…can you believe that? Rather than out of the kindness of his heart? Rather than out of gratitude for everything we've done for him? All of the abuse we've been through? The least he could do is just…tell us…every once in a while that, you, you know…he…he really…likes us or something! Why can't we be friends Chris? Why can't we be friends?"

"If he wasn't so hot I would have like sooooooo eaten him up a long time ago, and no! I don't mean eat him out! Though if he asks real nicely I—"

"And that's all of the time we have here for tonight!" Chloe says hurriedly, laughing nervously in the process as she cues for the camera crew to end the segment. "Join us next time for our next top story on Scandal! Justin and Heather…adopting sea urchins? Tune in and find out next time, only on Celebrity Manhunt!"


	2. Mischief

**A/N:** I'm not exactly a romance fan or pairing fan but I must say this – Duncan and Courtney are a lot of fun to write! Silly fluff and colourful cussing below!

* * *

"Hey princess."

A brunette who was quite happily slouching on the soft bed with ease looked up in surprise, momentarily tearing her gaze away from the current book in her hand. She looked at the speaker expectantly, wondering what it was he had to say.

"Why don't you drop your memo, come on over and join me in the shower?"

His playful grin made it very hard to resist his suggestions sometimes, but being the hard-headed babe that she was resisting temptation was quite an easy feat for her. Most of the time at least.

"I'll pass, Duncan," she said with a roll of her eyes, trying to look serious but the light-hearted smile to her lips betrayed her. She picked up the pencil she had dropped a minute ago and went back to jotting things down.

He stood there by the doorway of the bathroom, hoping against hope that the mischievous look to her freckled face indicated that she would in fact be joining him for some fun but she was just trying to be so cute about it.

It was clear though that after five minutes of standing there like a towelled moron nothing was going to happen.

"Whatever," Duncan snorted, trying his hardest not to let the disappointment show in his tone. The lady of his affections was clearly well aware of this. She bit down on her hands firmly, stifling the laughter that was building up. The moment she heard him slam the door like a drama queen she took that as her cue to jump out of bed and rush right over to the mini-fridge of their hotel room. She chuckled softly while she opened the little white door and bit down on her lips firmly when she pulled a large ice-bucket out of its midst.

She waited until she heard the shower start and waited a while before she decided to make her move.

With ninja stealth Courtney was able to slowly and quietly open the bathroom door, and took great care to not make so much as a squeak while she tiptoed over to the shower curtain.

"This is it," she told herself very softly. "It's now or never."

With a deep breath she pulled back the shower curtain and screamed as loud as she could, "Surprise!"

The moment he heard her voice Duncan eagerly turned around. He felt both surprised and pleased to hear the sudden sound of her voice.

"Glad you could make it, princess. I was wondering when you'd come to your senses," was what he wanted to tell her.

Instead he resorted to shrieking shrilly on account of the ice and cold water that hit his body on impact. The screams intensified when she decided to up the heat of his shower.

"**TURN IT OFF!**" he begged her with wild desperation. "**FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN IT OFF!**"

"Relax," she said ever so sweetly. "I'm not heartless." And she wasn't. Courtney immediately turned if off as soon as possible before any serious damage could be done. With great despair he made a wild grab for the shower curtain but instead he ended up pulling it off of the rung and fell face hard on the floor with a squelchy thud.

"**COURTNEY!**" he screamed angrily. "_**WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?**_"

"That," she said, with a click to her tongue, "was just a little payback for earlier this morning. Don't think I didn't figure out that it was you who decided to put hot sauce in my allergy meds!"

"Psycho! That's what you are! _**Fucking psychotic**_!"

Courtney only smiled and bent down forward so she could kiss him fondly on his lips.

"It's why you love me," she told him as she ruffled his soft, wet hair. With a triumphant look to her face Courtney got up quite airily and made her way to the door. She paused momentarily and turned around, flashing him that seemingly innocent smirk which drove him wild.

"Oh, and just between the two of us I would think twice about using your shampoo. Let's just say that things could get a little...hot."

After all, Courtney loved Duncan and cared for his safety. She wasn't that cruel.


	3. Till the end of Time

**AN**: So this is a pretty old one shot I wrote in 2010. As I have yet to catch up with the rest of the show [being stuck midway in Season 2…] I'm not sure how much of this can be considered cannon as I have no idea how their relationship dynamics are now [and I'd rather not know – thank you!] Anyway, this is a shout out for Gwen & Trent fans. **Warning**: lots of swearing!

* * *

"_Something always brings me back to you,__  
__It never takes too long.__  
__No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here_

_'til the moment I'm gone_." – **Gravity** by**Sara Bareilles**

x

Their date was nothing overtly special. It was just conversation between two former lovers dining out at a local bistro, not that there was anything wrong with that.

To them the sloppy food, the crappy music, the overbearing servers and the dingy atmosphere only heightened the perfection of the moment.

"You know, when I asked you out to dinner I didn't think you'd actually say yes," he told her softly with a smile playing on his lips. "If I did I would have arranged for something a whole lot better than this."

His companion only looked him in the eyes and flashed him a lazy smirk, the very one that made his heart melt countless times before. "Well I never thought you'd actually want to give us a second chance," she told him, the smile still intact as she took a sip from her milkshake. "Besides, how many people get to brag that they went out exclusively on a date with Trent Mercer?"

Trent blushed and couldn't help but laugh. It was true. After his time on Total Drama his popularity had shot up considerably. He didn't mind; he loved his music and if it made his fans happy too, who was he to argue with the attention? Still, it did make him feel very uncomfortable whenever he was around Gwen. Fan-mail and fan-girls in particular were a sore subject; it was like dancing on eggshells with her.

That's why he felt like slapping the server when she flashed him a beatific, wide grin and proudly declared with all her Sweet Valley goodness, "I am like _sooo_ sorry but I was just like hopping you could give me your autograph?! I just love love looove your music! My favourite has like got to be You Left Me! You know, I just came out of a terrible break-up myself and like your words _perfectly_ describe _exactly_ how I felt and─"

"I appreciate the support…uh…Stacey," he chuckled nervously, catching a quick glimpse of her nametag. Hurriedly autography a CD of his first album, he shoved into her hands awkwardly. "Here you go!"

The blonde waitress grinned happily and placed a banana root-beer float on the table. "This one's on the house," the redhead smiled with a playful wink and walked off with a happy bounce to her step.

"Well…wasn't that interesting?" Trent said hesitantly while he took a quick sip from his drink of water.

He didn't want to look Gwen in the eyes, noticing the stoic expression on her face. Was she jealous? He didn't doubt it. It was a commonality that had them gravitate towards each other. That's why Trent knew it would be best if he said nothing out of fear that his anxiety would coax him to say something that he would no doubt regret later on.

Presumptuousness was also another trait they both had in common. He was shocked by her sudden laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked her softly, a look of wonder in his soft green eyes.

"You are," she told him simply. Gwen lazily twirled the red straw of her milkshake, sloshing its contents about in the glass. "The fact that you froze up when she mentioned that stupid break up song you wrote about us? I think it's cute. Sweet, actually."

"Why?"

"Because it shows how much you care. You're so determined to make this moment perfect that you can't help but worry over everything going wrong…I don't think anyone could ever ask for anything more wonderful."

"So…does this mean you'll say yes to a second date?"

"Of course I will, and I'll keep on saying yes to the millions of dates that follow after."

Gwen was wrong, of course. It wasn't a million dates. It took them only eight until they realized that they couldn't bring themselves to make a ninth.

x

_"I know that you'd never do me wrong, babe  
Even though sometimes, I wish you would  
'cause I'm really good at getting hurt, babe  
Not so great at feeling good." – **Tell Me How** by **Sara Lov**_

"What's your problem?!" Gwen screamed angrily at him.

_They were officially back together again._

"Gee, I don't know. Why don't you tell me what I did this time?" he demanded of her, the scathing sarcasm like poison to her ears.

Gwen only laughed, angrily shaking her head. "You know exactly what you did! There was no need to be so rude to Duncan!"

_Despite everyone's protests, they still decided to take a chance and make it work._

"I'm sorry. It's hard to be civil to a guy whose only goal in life is to see how far he can push another person!"

"_Fuck, Trent!_ You're so uptight! He was just messing around!"

It was Trent's turn to get angry now. He turned on her, his eyes wide and livid with rage.

"_Messing around?! Messing around?!_I'm sorry but how do you expect a guy to get along with some other dude who stares at his girl and says, 'Hey man. I'd hit that…oh wait, I already did! Psyche!'" he screamed angrily at her. "I'm sorry but how do you not expect me to get pissed at a comment like that?!"

"I expect you to not flip out because it's _funny_! It's funny because it's not true!" she snapped, the intensity of her screams rising to a crescendo. "Then again, hey! You think I probably did screw around with him, right? Otherwise why else would you be so damn pissed!? God you're so fucking jealous! You've got trust issues!"

"**_Hah!_** You're one to talk! Don't go pointing fingers! You think you're Little Miss Innocent? How about that intense look you get every time someone approaches me and says they like my music?! I've noticed how pissed off you get every time a girl talks to me – _Christ!_And then you tell me to loosen up?!"

"**_ARRGHH!_** Fuck this shit! I've had enough of this bullshit you asshole! You're so childish! I don't need you! I'd be better off without you!"

If words could kill Trent would have been a goner by now. He couldn't believe everything he'd just heard. Never mind the fact that she called him an asshole – she was angry. It was understandable. But did she really just tell him she didn't need him?

"Why are we even together…?" he asked her softly, the words like a murmur in his hoarse breath.

"What was that?" she demanded with a scoff.

"I said why are we even together since you don't even need me…?"

Gwen froze, her feelings mixed somewhere between both hot and cold. Should she feel guilty? She was too angry to care though. It was a second's hesitance. Nothing more. Nothing less. She had to stand firm on her ground. There was no way she would let him see her as the insecure girl he had sworn to take care of. Anyway, she wasn't some sort of a charity case. She had her pride to maintain.

So she remained stoic, choosing to say nothing. She merely folded her arms squarely against her chest and eyed him coldly as he pinched the bridge of his faintly crooked nose.

Trent was tired.

He was fed up and he was beyond exhausted. Bullshit was right. Their entire relationship was just some stupid farce, just another game. They were better off alone; no sense in dishing out pain. On the bright side, maybe he could at least focus on his career without worrying every single day about drowning in troubled waters.

"You know, it's funny…" he said, pausing momentarily at the doorway of her room. "My parents told me to stay away from you. They argued that we had nothing in coming and that simple chemistry wasn't enough. They knew a second chance at this wouldn't work out, but no. I was an idiot. Just some stupid moron who wanted to prove them all wrong. Why? Because… I love you. I always have. It's as simple as that…but I guess I should have listened to them from the beginning instead of listening to my heart."

Somewhere deep inside of him there was a glimmer of hope. He was hoping that Gwen would tackle him the moment he walked out of that door. In his mind he could picture her madly clinging onto him, begging him to never let her go. This vision of Gwen would stare at him with tear filled eyes, apologize, and ask him for another chance.

Instead he felt like someone had wedged an ice pick straight into his heart when he heard her say with much apathy, "Sounds like the perfect lines to your next great hit. Good luck with the rest of your life, jackass. I never want to see you again."

If he wasn't a man of standards he would have coldly told her, "You're a fucking selfish bitch." Truth be told, she was expecting him to say something along those lines, hoping even. Something, anything, he would fire back at her. Something that would hurt her so she would have a reason to defend her actions rather than feeling guilt. Instead she bit down on her lips firmly as he told her, "Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your life_…_I mean it."

The entire situation itself was stupid. How could they fight over something so moronic? Why were their arguments always like that? All they ever did was play this dangerous cat and mouse game, and it shocked her to realize how many times they'd gotten themselves hurt and still came back to the same deal.

Maybe things would be better for them both if he really did leave and they agreed to never meet each other. It was a smart plan and it had its reasons…

So why was she crying so helplessly the moment he took those last steps out her door?

x

"_He grabs my wrists__  
__As my fingers turn into angry fists__  
__And I whisper 'Why can't you love me? I'll change for you.__  
__I'll play the part.'_" – **Sorry** by **Maria Mena**

Coming here was a mistake. She had absolutely no right to be here, especially not after they made it very clear that they were to never try to cross paths again.

If they so much as happened to be in the same place at the same time they were to act indifferently, wholly ignoring the other person and acting like they didn't even see them there.

So why was she back here? Why did she defy their grounds of agreement? Surely she was over him…wasn't she?

Her gut started churning as she watched him, the object of her affections, make his way on stage with his guitar at hand. The crowd went wild as they heard him play, cheering, whooping and whistling as he played to the gathered crowd.

Maybe she should leave now, before he might spot her by chance? Then again… she could stay for just one song, right? It's not like he'd even notice her in the large crowd. For once she was grateful for a large turnout.

_Just one song_, she promised herself. _No more than that._

Of course Gwen forgot just how spellbinding Trent's music could be. He was like a siren that lured her in into this net of security, lulling her into a hypnotic trance that made her drop all of her defenses. Feeling so light she failed to realize that the group in front of her was being escorted out of the concert by security due to indecent exposure.

That was when everything went horribly out of control.

He was midway through his song when he suddenly spotted that familiar tuft of green hair that had put Trent through so much. The strumming stopped as he looked to stare at her, shaking her out of her stupor. All eyes were on him as he hoarsely whispered into the microphone, "Gwen?"

Oh fuck.

"Hey…Trent. Um…could we talk?"

It was stupid of her really, showing up at his concert like this unannounced and trying to talk to him in the middle of it. She had purposely defied their promise, but then again that was so like her. It was one of the many things Trent loves about her. Or should it be loved?

He really didn't know if he was over her. There was this bittersweet sensation of pleasure and pain as he saw her there standing in the crowd, gently swaying her hips to the rhythm of the song moments before she realized what was going on.

As soon as the concert was over he approached her and told her to follow him as they made their way backstage, away from the mass media and away from prying eyes.

"What do you want from me?" he demanded coldly.

Gwen felt all sense of trepidation fade from her. She felt the old familiar boil of anger slowly well up inside of her. She was a changed person…sorta. This time she would prove that she could be in control of her emotions. Definitely be less high-maintenance, less dramatic, less possessive, less…less of a wild card really.

She merely smiled at him and said saccharinely, "Hey Trent. I'm doing great, thanks for asking. How about you?"

Trent groaned angrily, pushing the palms of his hands firmly against his eyes. _Maybe if he pressed hard enough Gwen would just go away._

He pulled his hands down and felt like throwing up. _No. She was still here._He was getting sick and tired of this game.

"Gwen…stop. Just…stop. I can't do this anymore. Either tell me why you're here or just leave."

Gwen bit back her lips nervously. She didn't know why she was here. She just felt…compelled. Something inside of her told her to come and she did. How could she explain that to him? This was stupid. She could hear a tiny voice desperately pleading with her.

_"Do you ever think of us getting back together? Ask him! Ask him! See what he says!__Ask him, damn it!"_

The question was burning on her lips. How desperate she was to ask, but the fear of rejection kept her from saying another word.

Trent sighed. "Gwen, look…what did you think would happen? That I'd go down on my knees and ask you to take me back?" He laughed. "Do you really just think that we could go back to how we first started?"

"Yes," she wanted to say so badly. Instead she kept her lips shut and nervously tapped her foot against the wet pavement. He was right, she knew, but did his words have to hurt so much?

What was so wrong with wanting to go back to the way things were? She was so angry at him right now for making her realize how childish she was.

"So are we just going to stand here in silence the whole time?"

He was met with no response. Trent couldn't help but laugh.

He didn't have time for her games anymore. He didn't have the strength or the energy to humour her every whim. Who did she think she was? Some sort of a princess? He had his fair share of humiliation and angst. Trent had had enough!

"What the hell do you want from me Gwen?"

"I want us to work!"

The sudden change in her demeanor and tone greatly took Trent by surprise. How much anger did she have concealed within?

"I want you to see how I've changed! I want you to see that I'm not the person you used to know! I want to be a better person! I want to be the girl you love! I want to be that perfect girlfriend! The one who isn't filled with insecurities! Who won't flare up every time a pretty girl gives you the time of day—"

"Gwen—"

But it was useless trying to cut her off. Her face was flushed from anger. Her voice was practically nonexistent, rising higher and higher with each word. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you still don't love me, Trent!"

"I—"

"Tell me that you still don't have feelings for me! I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you know that this time it won't work. I want you to tell me that it's officially over and you've moved on! _Tell me, Trent! Tell me!_"

He was speechless, washed with a mixture of shame and hope. He felt so guilty for the amount of pain they both had to go through, most of all Gwen; he hated to see her cry like she was doing so right now.

Yet it surprised him how she could still love him despite everything they'd been through. In fact when he'd heard the she and Duncan were officially an item he was very confused to find out that the two had parted ways. He was even more confused by the fact that she was running after him – _him_ – Trent – the sweet boy? For sure he thought she'd be over him, and yet here she was with blood-red eyes pleading with him to give them a fighting chance.

Part of him felt like she was nothing more than a rebound…and yet he was surprised to find that another smaller part of him really didn't mind. Did he truly love Gwen all that much…?

"Just say it then," she sobbed in frustration, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Say that you don't love me, Trent. Please…the suspense is killing me…"

He hesitated, his fingers running nervously through his wet hair. The rain was pouring down hard. "I…I can't, Gwen. I'm sorry."

"Why…?" she sniffled croakily, her liner and mascara running black streams down her face.

"I could never say that Gwen because…I love you," he told her softly while he pulled her in for a hug. "Tenth time's the charm, right?"

Gwen couldn't help but laugh. "Can I kiss you now? Please? The tension's killing me…" and her lips met his as they came together for a deep kiss.

To say that they put an end to their routine would be an outright lie.

Six months later they called it quits again. Maybe in another six months, who knows? They may just get back together again.

After all…old habits die hard.

* * *

FF ate up my concluding note. As always, reviews are much loved and appreciated. Check out my OC competition fic too. I'm still in need of more OC's since it's meant to be a fair split of 12 guys and 12 girls. The deadline ends the moment I get a large amount of OCs [since I do need 24 in total] so why not sign-up and give it a shot. With 24 contestants competing for a chance to be the winner _who knows_! will it be your OC? It just might be, so sign the heck up!


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